Beautiful and broken

Human emotions, like fire, is both a friend and a foe. On one hand it makes a human human, but on the other extreme end, it can burn off and extinguish relationships altogether. I guess it can even destroy ourselves and mess us up upside down, inside out. Much as having emotions is a "natural" thing, I thank God that we are made smart enough to be able to control them and not the other way around. I know since young I've been pretty much led by my own emotions. But I'm thankful I found Jesus, a God who isn't guided by emotions. He doesn't stop doing good things just because He doesn't feel like it. In this case, depending on feelings can be a deadly thing. And once again I'm thankful that I can not depend on my own feelings, but I can depend on God. Humanly (again) it is "stupid" or "naive" to place complete trust in someone else, much more if the "someone else" is invisible. But having trusted (and still trusting) in an invisible God for quite some time, I think I like it this way better than having to live life by my own strength and emotions. It's less tiring and the results are most often effective (if I have to say so myself ha ha). And by relying on Him I can compare myself then and now- I'm less self-conscious, less over-sensitive, less grudging, less emotional. I think that's one of the many beautiful things of being a Christian, being Christ-like, and moulding oneself to be more like Him. You can't chase after God's heart and not be transformed. But having said that, I'm thankful that God isn't like a genie in a lamp who grants your wishes instantly. Everything takes time, especially building faith and trust. Up till now, I'm still improving, still changing, still drawing myself closer to be more and more like Jesus. Struggles are all around but hey, what matters is not how I start, but how I end.

Above all, I thank God with all my heart that He is God, and I am not.