Restored resplendence

So I learnt a new word today: all thanks to Tumblr and Google.

Resplendence. Beautiful word indeed.

And I'm finally free to be able to breathe and talk liberally. I think I need this - this momentary escape from the prying eyes of the people who read this blog (I still love you guys though. Thank you for even bothering to read this). I just hope that the previous blog link (aka my name) wouldn't be taken away. Or maybe I'll eventually grow to love this domain name so much I wouldn't want my name back haha!

Anyway I just want to take this time to thank God for His goodness and mercy towards me this past week. Indeed it had been an insanely stressful week for me, juggling and rushing two reports all at once. I've slept at 3 am on almost every alternate day just to do work, which I've never done before in my life. It was a physically and mentally torturing week culminated on Sunday night. Twice I felt like I was under so much pressure I was on the brink of bawling my eyes out. The pressure was unreal, it was like I could almost feel it. My head was pounding intensely and my heart was... I don't know, shrinking itself into a dried prune? Or at least that's  what I felt. I felt so vulnerable I thought I was going to actually die from all the pressure. But thank God for His strength really, without Him I think I would have flipped my table or pass out or give up altogether. And thank God for Jus, I really could not have survived the week without this God-given friend.

I guess all I can say that being in the project group that I was in had taught me a lot. It certainly isn't the best group. I don't hate it but I just felt that the synergy was pretty much non-existent, which certainly wasn't helpful when it comes to doing concrete work. And yup I learnt how to deal with difficult, over-sensitive people. Yeah I didn't exactly solve the problem but at least I straightened things out (unfortunately only from my own point of view).

And I had to face the horrible and ugly side of such people, who make baseless assumptions and claims without bothering to clarify the truth of the matter. And as if this wasn't bad enough, there is the other side of the over-sensitive which is supposed to be portrayed as sweet, meek, harmless and nice but is in actual fact pretentious, cunning, judgmental and plain disgusting. Ugh.

But on the other hand I have a fellow sailor in my boat to help me tide through the rough and treacherous waves of projects. Thank you so much J, I really could not have finished this race without you. With you simply being there on my laptop screen, talking to me via Oovoo is good enough for me to continue to press on. I know we have our own trivial conflicts but I'm just glad that we could both shove them aside to be of one mind and work hand-in-hand. Much as it is tough to be in the group, I am just so relieved to have you, especially when it comes to tolerating my bossiness, high demands, tendency to sidetrack, retardedness and my other flaws. Thank you again Jus :)

Yeah this is not all that I have reflected on on my group but I think my main point has been brought across plainly. Being in this group this semester had been extremely challenging: I didn't enjoy the ride most of the time (which makes me think of my previous group whom I miss dearly hur hur) but alas I am done with the group. I may talk to the members individually, but I guess it's gonna take a lot of love and tolerance and patience to carry out a meaningful conversation. Sad to say that my impression of them had been tinted and tainted with this experience. So I guess I will put this behind me soon enough. It's all over already anyway.

Ha I'd never thought I would say this much. Liberation indeed ha!