So much ups and downs recently. My life is like a roller-coaster; fast, without pause, sometimes at the lowest point, sometimes at its climax. I feel so so helpless almost everytime. So many times I come back thinking that this place is more of a house than a home. Now that someone has already reached his saturation point, I have no idea how to react to what is going to happen next. I am so tired of this ride of emotions. It's like I'm never here nor there. Sometimes I don't even know myself. But why has things gotten into such a stage? Was it inevitable? I don't know what is happening and I don't want to know. If asked exactly whose fault it was, I honestly haven't got a clue. Maybe everyone's at fault, or maybe there's just one culprit. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired of all these unnecessary nonsense. But why must this happen? It is just the exact opposite of what I had wished and dreamed for. Now it feels like I can never reach there. It feels like just a mental image, far from coming to life. Just so that whenever I have that image in my head, I would just cry and keep crying because it feels like it's never gonna happen. It sounds so easy but yet it is so difficult. I couldn't have felt more broken than I already am. This is simply insane.
God help me to trust you in this difficult situation. It is way out of my control.
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